Hypocrisy
by egyouppt
Summary: Finn/Rachel drama. Rewritten scene from "Bad Reputation." Finn is a hypocrite; Rachel retaliates. Can both of them find what they're looking for? One-shot.


**A/N: This takes place after Rachel shows her terrible "Run Joey Run" video. And Finn freaked out on her. And I just found his scene to deliciously ironic to not write about.**

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Anyway, this started of for a part of my other story (oneshot collection called Integrated: The Amity Sessions coughcoughshameless-self-advertisingcough), but it didn't really fit. So I'm publishing it separately. Note: some angst involved here.

That being said, I hope you like it. Review and let me know.

Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Glee or this scene would have been in S1E17, aka "Bad Reputation."

* * *

  
"It—it was an artistic statement," Rachel tried to explain.

"No, it wasn't. It was you trying to look like you had a bunch of guys fighting over you so you could stop looking like some kind of outcast and been seen as some hot, slutty girl singer!" Finn interrupted indignantly. He got up and walked over to her. "How could you do this to me?" His voice was lower, but all the rage was still there. "To _all _us guys? Is your stupid _reputation _more important than your relationships?" God, he just wanted to…to…he didn't even know. He'd thought Rachel had asked for his help on her project because he _meant_ something to her! They were _friends._ Why was he so fucking stupid _all the time?_

"That's really funny, Finn," Rachel spat back, her anger starting to rise. "Especially considering that concern for _your_ reputation motivated you to quit glee _multiple times,_ bail on me for the original glee club yearbook photo, _and_ break up with me to 'find your inner rock star,' which was, apparently, a code for dating Brittany and Santana. You've always showcased putting your reputation first. And I would stand here and call you a hypocrite if I thought you knew what the word even meant!" She threw her hands up in frustration and stomped out of the choir room.

Finn blanched. What the _hell_ had just happened? Turning around, he noticed the shocked and disgusted expressions on his teammates' faces. Despite himself, he felt a little bad for that Jesse kid, even though he didn't like the bugger at all. The former Vocal Adrenaline star stalked off and soon everyone else left as well. Mr. Schue just looked like he wished he could catch a break.

Rachel hadn't blown up at him since that time he had lied to her about Quinn being pregnant. But just now, Rachel had been undeniably abrasive, even more so than usual. He could still feel the sting. Why was she always hurting his feelings now? Maybe what was worse was that every stupid thing she had said was true. Of course. But Finn had realized he's made all those mistakes some time ago. And he had always thought Rachel was better than that. Ugh! This whole thing was doing his head in.

He kicked the projector stand angrily before making his way out of the classroom. Whether he wanted to go find Rachel and pick another fight with her or shove his head in the garbage disposal, he wasn't entirely sure yet.

* * *

Rachel was fuming. But mostly, she was just hurt. She never intended to bruise any feelings, but she was just _so_ tired of being considered a nobody. And when people _did_ recognize her, it was generally to throw a slushie in her face or call her a freak.

She really did care deeply about Jesse. And Finn. And…well, not so much Noah, but she still cared enough to not want to hurt him intentionally.

It was funny how nobody cared that _Quinn_ had been number one on the damn glist, giving her the image as slut extraordinaire. But the minute she, _Rachel,_ treaded the uncharted waters of infamy, everyone made _her_ into the bad person, too obsessed with her reputation. Like any of the other glee club members didn't care about _their_ reputations at WMHS.

Rachel tried (and mostly failed) to hold back the hot tears gathering in her eyes as she stormed down the hall, trying to hold on to her tenuous grasp on her sanity.

She rounded the corner and saw Jesse and she couldn't keep the hopeful expression form blossoming on her face. But after a brief glance in her direction, he continued right past her.

Even though he had looked at her for less than three seconds, what she saw in his eyes broke her heart all over again. It wasn't only anger or betrayal in them, but pain as well.

She stopped in the middle of the hallway, put her hands in her head, and cried.

* * *

And that's how Finn found her, crying and balled up in herself. He had to resist the desire to comfort her and tell her it would be okay. Because, as far as he was concerned, why shouldn't she have to feel as shitty as he did? At least for a while. He immediately felt guilty for thinking that, but he couldn't deny that a small part of him thought she deserved it. It wasn't a part of himself that he liked very much.

He hadn't meant to just explode on her like that. But God_damn_ it, he was tired of being…crap, what was that word that Rachel had taught him? Manipulated. Yeah, that was it. He was tired of his feelings being manipulated. He had never attempted to hide them, nor had he gone back on his stupid promise to _stupid_ Jesse to stay away from "his" girl. And the look on her face after he, Puck, and Jesse had ranted about that fucking stupid, _humiliating _"Run Joey Run" video had killed him. But how could he just sit there and let it slide? After all the times she had chewed him out for caring about his rep too much, he just couldn't take it.

Finn clenched and unclenched his fists a few times before taking a deep breath. He was trying to control his anger, but it wasn't really working. Whatever. But he started to second guess himself. Maybe he should just wait for both of them to cool off a little before he tried to talk to her. Maybe he could just talk to her tomorrow. But somehow, he figured, the longer he was alone with it, the more pissed he would probably become. _Fuck it,_ he thought, and walked towards her.

* * *

Rachel turned her attention away from sniffling when she heard footsteps approaching and looked up.

"Finn, I—" she began, before bursting into tears again. How could she have been so _stupid?_ She had only made things worse by causing a scene with Finn. But it was just so _hard_ to try to contain all of her emotions. She glanced up and saw that some of the anger had faded from her friend's eyes, albeit only a little. But she knew he felt terrible still.

Finn dragged a hand through his hair and then, as gently as his current state would allow, he nudged Rachel toward the wall. Even though the hallway was practically deserted, he still felt weird standing right in the middle of it. Especially when he was about to have _this_ conversation with her. He just needed to forget about that fact that he loved her—in exactly which ways he wasn't completely sure yet—and focus on the situation at hand.

But he found he had no idea what to say either. _Thanks for not giving a shit about my feelings?_ No. Too harsh. _Everything will be fine; don't worry about it?_ No. Not harsh enough. This was ridiculous.

"Rachel…" was all he was able to come up with.

She looked up at him again. "Finn, I am _so_ sorry. And…and I'm sorry I said all those things to you, too."

_It was a low blow,_ he agreed mentally. "You never cared what people thought of you before," he said, trying really hard to be gentler.

Her shoulders hunched. He recognized the defense mechanism immediately. "Finn, this is the only year anyone has _ever_ thrown a slushie at you or somehow threatened your precious reputation," Rachel explained. And there she was back to mocking him again. _This isn't getting anywhere,_ he thought.

"And you always chose your reputation over the people who cared about you," he heard her say. Okay. _Ouch._ That stung. "I've been dealing with this my whole life," she went on, but her voice was softer now. "It just gets to the point where I don't want to feel so invisible anymore."

He didn't know what to say. _Again._ So he just defaulted back to, "Rachel…"

"Finn, you've always been popular. Whoever made the _glist_ was looking to gain popularity. Acceptance. I'm never going to have those things, from the looks of it. At least for now. But who I am doesn't allow me to give up trying." She sounded almost broken, the quarterback thought.

_Damn it._ Finn wanted to be furious with her. He really did. He wanted to want to kick and punch stuff. But the way she was looking at him, all pleading and miserable, it was too much for him. He knew his defenses were crumbling. She seemed to have that effect on him.

Rachel watched. And waited. She waited for Finn to say something. _Anything_. Well, _almost_ anything. And hopefully something besides just her name this time. She wanted him to know just how sorry she truly was. She knew he would never fully understand. But that was because he could never fully understand what it felt like to be Rachel Berry. Somehow, she just had a knack for pushing people away from her. She _tried_ to be cool; she wanted people to like her. Of course she did. But how could she just give up everything she was? She really did want to make it up to him, though.

"I'm sorry, too," he said finally.

She searched his eyes and saw something she needed to see there. _Forgiveness._ Or at least the beginnings of it. She smiled tentatively at him.

"I just always thought you were above all this stupid teenage stuff with caring about what other people think. Not like the rest of us. I always liked that about you, Rachel," Finn told her. "When are you gonna realize we like you the way you are? We're your friends. Just _stop_ trying to _prove_ something!" His voice was getting louder again. But then he sighed. "I like you 'cause you're you, Rachel. Not 'cause you're popular," he added quietly.

He looked at her again and felt his pulse snap painfully. She looked all soft and doe-eyed and just completely heartbroken. He wanted to brush her hair out of her face, where it was sticking to the tear tracks running down her cheeks. But it wasn't his place to do so, and he didn't want to upset her. He didn't know what was going to happen between her and that Jesse kid, but he didn't want to risk making her feel worse than she already did. He'd hurt her enough before.

Finn was her best friend. Rachel let her eyes roam over his face, trying to figure out what he was feeling. She hadn't responded yet. She didn't know how to. These kinds of things were how she had ended up falling for McKinley's golden boy in the first place. And she was still unsure about her and Jesse. She couldn't think about how much she had hurt him. He had given up his life at Carmel and with Vocal Adrenaline in order to be with her. And this was how she repaid him. She felt awful. But right now was about Finn. He was staring at her and she could tell he was waiting for her reply.

"Finn, I'm sorry," Rachel said again. "But thank you." The last part was so soft he had to strain to hear her. But he didn't want to fight with her anymore. He'd experienced enough anger this year so far to last him his whole high school career. So instead he a flashed his characteristic, crooked half-smile and she returned it with her one hundred megawatt smile. And maybe he _did_ know all the ways he loved her. But that was crazy! Wasn't it?

But before he could stop himself, he pulled her forward, into his arms. She hugged him back tightly, burying her face into the crook of his neck. Maybe things were okay. He resisted the urge to kiss the top of her head. But this was closer to what he wanted; him and Rachel on good terms. He didn't know what would happen now, but things could only go up from here, right?

When she finally pulled away, she smiled up at him briefly before looking over her shoulders. She grabbed his forearm and asked, "Please, Finn. Will you help me find Jesse? I need to talk to him."

And just like that, he could feel his heart cracking in his chest. He hadn't expected her to twirl around and kiss him passionately before confessing her love for him or anything. Be he sure as hell hadn't expected her to ask him _that._ He hadn't expected her to want to find Jesse so soon, and after it had been him, _Finn,_ who had comforted her, forgiven her. Who had not just walked away from her.

But even though he was aching inside, he just couldn't refuse her. So he pushed down the rising anger and bitterness, and nodded. He loved her. So even though her hand was around his arm while she was leading him through the halls, searching for another guy and he wanted, more than anything, to rip it off, run home, crawl into bed and cry, he let her hold on.

He loved her. So he helped her find the boy who was holding her own heart.

Even though he knew, inside, it was going to kill him.

* * *

**I hope you guys aren't disappointed by the ending. I know it's not like a happy ending for Finn and Rachel, but it follows the storyline.  
****Anyway, reviews make the world go around! Or at least my world.  
****Take care,  
x**


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